


Rejuvenation

by BigFatBumblebee



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Careful - discussion of PTSD, De-Aged Obi-Wan Kenobi, Fluff, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Light Angst, M/M, Master Kenobi and his many Dads, Past Obi-Wan Kenobi/Quinlan Vos talked about, So does Qui-Gon, The Force Loves Obi-Wan Kenobi, lots of tropes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-17
Updated: 2020-04-07
Packaged: 2021-02-08 04:03:01
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 20,116
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21469762
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BigFatBumblebee/pseuds/BigFatBumblebee
Summary: The Force and one incorporeal Jedi Master find a creative way of looking after Obi-Wan Kenobi. Death has not stopped the Order’s Maverick and as usual, his methods leave the Jedi Order perplexed and his former apprentice utterly baffled. And in a body fifteen years younger than it should be.
Relationships: Obi-Wan Kenobi/Naps
Comments: 137
Kudos: 1002
Collections: Suggested Good Reads





	1. Chapter 1

As the first weak rays of sunlight illuminated the council chamber, Jedi Master Depa Billaba glanced around at her fellow Councillors. Despite the early hour her colleague's faces were masks of concentration and alertness.

It had been a very distressing morning so far, and the sun was not yet up. At the stroke of 2nd hour every single being in the temple suddenly woke up and felt a highly unusual and alarming disturbance in the force. Whilst everybody felt the force in slightly different ways, reports all described a similar wave of crippling anxiety, only to be quickly replaced by an almost overwhelming feeling of euphoria. It had been incredible, everyone felt good, every nerve ending was tingling and everything was amplified. One or two of the bolder knights had likened the effects to that of some less-than-legal substances.

For a short time chaos had reigned; Masters and Knights struggled to function properly under the mysterious influence, younglings had started screaming and crying and Padawans were confused and scared when the brief high ended. It had taken embarrassingly long for the Masters on the Council to recover, and to call an emergency council meeting.

So far they had logged a couple of minor injuries (Jedi grace had all but gone out the window), some slightly traumatised younglings and Mace Windu had been admitted to the healers with the mother of all nose bleeds. But aside from all this the status reports they had received led them to conclude that all was now well, and the next step would be investigating the source of the disturbance. After they had all gone back to bed.

“Well….there don’t seem to have been any lasting effects” Depa asserted confidently, pragmatic as always.

“Know fully the effects, we do not” Master Yoda corrected rather sharply.

“Indeed, though the creche reports the initiates are safe and all is back to normal” Master Mundi interjected “and almost all Master and Padawan teams on planet have checked in. The anomaly doesn’t seem to have reached those off Coruscant” he speculated. His colleagues nodded in relief.

“Thank the force!” Kit articulated for them all.

Depa looked around the room again. Apart from her old Master, the only member of the council unaccounted for was Obi-Wan Kenobi.

“Has anybody had word from Master Kenobi?” she asked, slightly concerned. She was met with a negative silence.

“Perhaps he slept through it all?” Shaak offered dubiously. Kit Fisto snorted.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi, sleep?” he said disbelievingly. “More likely he is not in the temple.”

“Without his communicator?” Master Koon countered. “No that would not be like him at all.” He looked around “is anybody else unaccounted for?”

Shaak opened her mouth to respond when she was interrupted.

“Approach, Master Kenobi does” Yoda confirmed, his eyes closed and his presence extended in the force, searching. There was a frown of confusion on his face.

The council members looked up as one when the doors before them opened slowly, and a familiar brown cloaked figure stood before them, pausing in the doorway. Hood up and presence unusually tightly shielded.

“Obi-Wan…” Depa said confusedly. She paused, something was not right. There was something different about her friend and she couldn’t put her finger on it.

“Are you alright?” she asked carefully. The other counselors shifted in their seats, sensing the same. There was no warning in the force, no sinister feelings, but it was not like Obi-Wan to be so tightly shielded, and nobody wore their hood up inside the temple. Something was wrong. 

There was a pause as it seemed the rather small (had Obi-Wan always been that small?) hooded figure considered the question, and then sighed.

“Unfortunately, I’m afraid we have a problem” the words came out slowly in the familiar yet different crisp Coruscanti accent as the figure reached up and pushed back the hood covering his face.

The rest of the council’s shock echoed in the force, and the room was absolutely silent as the hood fell down to reveal the fresh, youthful face of Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi.

For a moment nobody spoke, absolutely floored by the impossible sight. Unsure blue eyes gazed back at them as Obi-Wan stood before them with his hands in his voluminous sleeves. His robes remained those of Master Kenobi, but it was undeniably Obi-Wan in perhaps his late teens; ginger hair cropped in the Padawan cut, long beaded braid hanging over one shoulder and his line-free face was clean shaven.

Kit Fisto was the first to recover, and he did so with a loud curse.

“What the Kriff?”

Obi-Wan smiled briefly, and let out a long breath.

“Well put” he commented.

“Obi-Wan…what happened?!” Plo asked slowly, shocked. Padawan Kenobi shrugged and looked at them all, allowing his dismay to show on his youthful features.

“I have absolutely no idea. I felt a little ill and passed out for a moment, and woke up….this!” he said miserably waving his hands awkwardly about himself.

Shaak rose to her feet, astounded by what she was seeing. She moved closer and stood before Obi-Wan, studying him. She raised her hand slowly.

“May I?” she asked, he nodded and she gently touched his jaw.

“Incredible” she breathed, quickly stepping back with an apologetic look when Obi-Wan twitched uncomfortably.

“Thank you” he said flatly

“Could you drop your shields please Obi-Wan?” Kai-Adi-Mundi requested politely, leaning forward in his chair, fascinated. The now young Jedi tilted his head and acquiesced, dropping his shields slightly to further confirm his identity and sure enough, the undeniable presence of Obi-Wan Kenobi filled the council chamber. It was instantly recognisable as the steady, calm and solidly light signature of Master Kenobi rather than the sunny bright, energetic and somewhat tremulous manifestation most of them remembered from Padawan Kenobi.

“It is you” Depa exclaimed, also getting to her feet.

“Of course it’s me!” the young man in question snapped impatiently. Obi-Wan closed his eyes, taking a deep centering breath he pinched the bridge of his nose in a gesture that looked so out of place on the teenager it would have been comical in any other situation. He opened his eyes and Depa felt him send her a quick apology in the force. 

Yoda moved to join Shaak in front of Obi-Wan and instructed him to kneel with a light tap on the shin. Eye level with his Great-Grand Padawan he too reached out and laid a claw on top of the young man’s head, closing his eyes.

“Hmmm” he said, and then suddenly smiled “Mysterious, the force is.” He said cryptically. Obi-Wan glared at him. 

“Thank you Master” came the tart response, followed by a sigh as he ran a hand through his short spiky hair and looked at his friends.

“This is…insane!” he exclaimed. Yoda just nodded and shuffled away.

“I…don’t even know where to start” Kit admitted. Depa snorted. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as he stood up.

“Excellent” he said sarcastically.

“How old are you?” Depa asked curiously. She had not known Obi-Wan well when he was growing up, her missions with Mace had taken them off planet regularly, and the Jinn/Kenobi team had barely been on Coruscant themselves.

“I’m not sure” he admitted “possibly in the final years of my apprenticeship, around 18?” He looked at them for validation. Most of the Councillors nodded, that did seem about right.

“What am I going to do?” he asked again searching for answers from his colleagues, eyes darting over each of them and they could feel a slight sense of panic oozing in to the force. Kai-Adi-Mundi’s calm voice cut in.

“I am sure it is fixable my friend, we will do everything we can to find a way” he reassured and received a shaky smile in return.

“Why don’t you describe the event, exactly. You were not asleep at the time?” Plo Koon’s deep voice brought them all back on track. Obi-Wan shook his head.

“I was finishing off some work, reading reports” somebody tutted and a couple of people sighed in exasperation.

“Second hour, it was” Yoda said disapprovingly. Obi-Wan turned to look at him with narrowed eyes.

“Perhaps we could discuss my sleep patterns later?” he suggested primly, folding his arms and continuing. “I was reading a report about the ceasefire on Raine, when I felt a little dizzy and sick. I got up to make some tea when I think I passed out, and then I woke up like this” he explained succinctly, his Masterly calm looking distinctly out of place on the youthful face.

There was another moment of silence whilst his colleagues considered this.

“How long were you unconscious for?” Kit asked curiously.

“I am not sure, mere moments though I think” the young man clarified.

“Have you been in contact with anything unusual recently?” Shaak placed steepled fingers over her lips. Obi-Wan shook his head.

“What was on your mind at the time of the disturbance?” Kai-Adi asked thoughtfully. Obi-Wan frowned and thought for a moment.

“I think…” he furrowed his brow in concentration “I was thinking about Raine… and how the last time I was there was during my apprenticeship with Qui-Gon” he said slowly, and then understanding dawned. Big blue eyes looked at them. “That can’t be it, can it?” he asked incredulous.

The others looked back at him in various states of unease.

“I mean…it’s possible” Depa offered dubiously. Yoda made a thoughtful noise.

“Meditate on this, we will. Though no danger, I sense.” He said. The others nodded.

“For now though Obi-Wan, I think a trip to the healers is in order.” Shaak said firmly. Obi-Wan looked positively miserable at this but nodded his head a little.

“This morning keeps getting better and better” he sighed resigned and began pulling up his hood again.

Depa got to her feet and made her way to him.

“I’ll keep you company” she declared, to him as much as the other Councillors.

“As will I” Plo also rose to his feet and stood by his young friend, who nodded gratefully at them both.

“Updated, you will keep us” Yoda instructed. Obi-Wan opened his mouth when to his surprise Depa answered for him.

“Yes Master” she said, gently taking her friend’s arm and guiding him towards the door with Plo.

\---

Knights and Masters roamed the hallways chattering about their situation and clutching cups of tea, some cradling younglings speaking in soothing voices. Breakfast had been served early since everybody was awake, despite the early hour, and the bustle made it hard to move quickly. The council members, easily recognised, received nods of greeting and their hooded companion a few curious glances but they moved quickly on.

Stepping in to the halls of Healing they all approached the Senior Padawan on duty, who caught sight of them and immediately stood up, flustered, and bowed nervously to the two council members and their companion.

“Masters” she greeted formally.

“Padawan, we require an urgent appointment with Master Che and a private room immediately” Plo explained quickly and quietly. The young Nautolan’s eyes widened a fraction but she nodded her head once in understanding and tapped her comm quickly.

“Please follow me” she led them briskly out of the main reception area, down a sterile white corridor to a small private room at the back of the halls. She opened the door and gestured for them to enter with another bow.

“Do you require anything Masters? Master Che will be with you soon” She said politely, but before they had the chance to answer quick light footsteps announced the arrival of Chief Healer Vokara Che.

“Thank you Padawan I shall take it from here” she announced loudly, and the Padawan gratefully scuttled off. Master Che turned to the three occupants of the small room, nodding at the two council members and raising an eyebrow at the smaller figure standing by the bed, still hooded and tightly shielded.

“Master Che, we have a rather peculiar problem-“ Depa began to explain. Master Che looked at her with an unimpressed gaze and held up a hand.

“Master Billaba, apologies but I feel we would achieve more if we cut right to the chase” she interrupted, without a hint of apology. She turned to the person standing awkwardly by the bed.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi” she started sternly, “take off that hood please and show me the problem. I assure you it is unlikely to be something I have not seen before” She leveled her gaze at his covered face recognising, even through durasteel shields, the presence she had known since infancy. She was met with an amused feeling in the force.

“Would you care to bet on that Master Che?”

She started at the voice. That was not the familiar voice of Obi-Wan Kenobi, it was lighter somehow and she looked at them confused for a moment, before he took off his hood and her confusion turned to total shock.

She stared at the familiar, yet impossible, person before her.

“Hello there”

The Twi’lek continued to stare, her rational and scientific brain short-circuiting for a moment whilst the other three exchanged glances. Plo laid a hand on the Healers shoulder, breaking her out of her trance.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi” she stated. He looked back at her and nodded his head. “Padawan Obi-Wan Kenobi” she confirmed again.

“Yes.” He answered. “Though I believe it’s Senior Padawan” he mused, holding his braid adorned with various beads.

“Master Che” Plo said gently “We do not know how this happened but we need to confirm Obi-Wan’s age” he explained “and attempt to ascertain the cause of his…” the Kel-Door Master faltered uncharacteristically.

“Youthification”

“De-aging”

Obi-Wan and Depa spoke at the same time. Plo nodded at them both.

“And to investigate fully the consequences” he finished, looking her straight in the face.

“And a way of reversing it” Obi-Wan interjected.

Che looked back at Plo before glancing at Depa, and then settling on Obi-Wan and letting out a long breath.

“Right, well Master-“ she stopped short, catching herself. “It is _Master_ Kenobi, isn’t it? You have retained all your memories?” she asked. He nodded.

“Yes it’s still me” the young man in front of her confirmed, rubbing a hand along his hairless jaw thoughtfully “I still have all my knowledge and memories. My connection to the Force is more intense perhaps, but it seems to be a physical change only” he confirmed. Master Che nodded, that was good news.

“Well, Master Kenobi I believe a logical step is indeed to confirm your age, and that your…change has not had any adverse effects on your general health” she said briskly, all business once more. She moved around Obi-Wan and bent down to retrieve a bundle from under the bed.

“Change in to these please and take a seat on the bed” she instructed, handing him the bundle of scrubs. Without waiting for a reply, she opened the door “we will be waiting outside, let me know when you are ready” she gestured to the other two and all three left, Depa casting a sympathetic look over her shoulder

\--

Obi-Wan turned around and picked up the soft bundle of plain white scrubs as he heard the click of the closing door.

He closed his eyes for a moment in the silence and let out a long breath. His friends had been incredibly supportive, and he appreciated it, but he was finding the attention stifling. And it was only going to get worse, he surmised miserably as he started tugging off his boots and belt synched tightly around his waist. Force he had been skinny in his youth!

He felt…he didn’t know how he felt. Discombobulated maybe.

He wasn’t afraid, the force was with him. Though he had not been completely truthful with Master Che, his relationship with the Force _had_ changed. It had been wrapped around him in an incredibly comforting way since he woke up in his younger body. This comfort alone wasn’t terribly unusual; when he did allow himself to lean in to it the Force often provided reassurance and comfort, but usually as strength in the manner of a guide or shield. Now it was cocooning him in a kind of parental warmth, constantly caressing and soothing him despite his shields, and making it very difficult to be worried about anything. 

No, whilst he wasn’t afraid the whole thing was very…weird. Not to mention awkward.

He carefully folded his robes up and set them on the corner of the bed as he sat down in the white garments. Taking a fortifying breath he braced himself for the onslaught of prodding, poking and staring when he heard a familiar voice join those just outside of the door.

“Kenobi! Enough dawdling we’re coming in”

“Master!”

The door opened again to reveal Mace Windu among those crowded in the doorway. The look of impatience on his face quickly turned to one of astonishment when he saw Obi-Wan and he let out a low whistle.

“Sorry Obi-Wan” Depa apologised, glaring at her former Master, who ignored her in favour of staring at the figure on the bed.

“Hello Mace” the now-teenager in question greeted dully. “How are you feeling?” he asked. Mace’s eyes widened.

“How am I…?” he blinked. “Obi-Wan, what in sithhells is going on?!” he demanded, his eyes never leaving his newly young friends face. Obi-Wan sighed and opened his mouth to reply when Master Che managed to push her way into the crowded room.

“That, is what I am about to attempt to ascertain Master Windu” she said impatiently. “Master Kenobi has briefed the council to the best of his ability, and I am now going to examine him. If you are feeling better” she eyed Mace for a moment “you may all remain however you must wait outside and be patient.” She emphasised the last word and gestured to the door.

Mace met her eyes for a moment before looking back at his friend perched on the bed.

“Alright” he looked at Plo and Depa “we’ll wait” he announced. The other two nodded, and Plo gave Obi-Wan’s skinny shoulder a quick squeeze before they all trooped back out.

Sighing as she closed the door slightly too hard, Vokara Che turned around and regarded her small patient, sitting on the bed in the scrubs. Bare feet dangling slightly off the ground, shoulders hunched. Taking out her com she put in a quick request to see Obi-Wan’s full medical file.

“Well, I suppose we had better get this over with” the young Jedi sighed. “Where would you like to start?” He asked bravely.

30 minutes later and Obi-Wan could feel his patience reaching its limits. Master Che had been as gentle and as swift as possible, the rational part of him knew that. But he was now sore, tired and incredibly uncomfortable and it was getting difficult to keep that in mind. He’d had needles jabbed in to him, blood pressure cuffs attempting to squeeze his arm off, lights shined in his eyes and hands all over him. All the while Master Che’s tutting had been grating on his nerves.

The force was still offering warmth and reassurance, in fact he thought it might be getting more intense as the minutes passed. All the same, he and Master Che were about to have a serious falling out when she finally pulled away and stood a respectful distance from her patient.

“Right” she said “thank you for your patience Master Kenobi, that’s all for now.” He nodded and exhaled loudly in relief. She smiled briefly “Please remain here whilst I go and get your test results”. She paused. “You may come in now” she said without raising her voice, and not a moment later the concerned face of Depa appeared in the doorway, Mace craning his neck and Plo standing calmly, behind her. Master Che rolled her eyes and waved them in.

“Sit down and don’t agitate him” she instructed sternly. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes.

“I am not ill” he said tersely. She leveled her stare at him.

“I shall be the judge of that.” She swept out of the room.

“How are you feeling?” Plo asked, taking a seat next to the bed whilst Mace sat on the one next to the wall.

Obi-Wan thought for a moment, before slowly, a smile grew on his face.

“Spry” he said, a familiar sparkle returning to his eyes.

Mace rolled his eyes and Plo chuckled a little.

“Smartarse” Depa muttered from her position leaning against the wall. Obi-Wan grinned in response, tugging his braid absentmindedly.

“We’ll have to knight you again my young friend” Plo noted teasingly, nodding at the long Padawan braid and plucking it out of the teenager’s hands to look at the many beads. Obi-Wan snorted, leaning towards Plo to avoid his hair being pulled.

“Oh good” Depa chimed in cheerfully “I missed the first time”.

“We all missed the first time” Mace commented dryly. Depa looked questioningly at them both.

“Master Yoda knighted me and cut my braid on Naboo, after Qui-Gon’s funeral” he explained.

“Really? That doesn’t seem-“

“It was fine” Obi-Wan cut her off quickly. He had no desire to pull at that particular thread, he had made his peace with the past.

“We didn’t really have time for anything else” he assured her. And smiled wryly as he reflected “I spent the next few days trying to figure out how to disable the explosive device implanted in my Padawan and struggling through about twenty-seven forms to register a Being as a citizen of the Republic.”

Mace and Depa both frowned, and Depa opened her mouth to say more when Obi-Wan spoke again, withdrawing his hair from Plo’s hands.

“Could I possibly borrow someone’s lightsaber please?” he asked the group surrounding him. He was met with blank stares. “It’s been a bit of a morning so far and I have left mine in my rooms” he explained, a little defensively.

Master Plo reached for his.

“What do you want it for?” he asked curiously handing it over to his friend. The teenager nodded his thanks.

“Well I’m not really a Padawan, I may as well get rid of this” he motioned to his braid then paused. “Are there any rules about knighting oneself?” he wondered aloud, igniting the yellow blade.

“Obi-Wan! You can’t do that!” Depa cried, outraged. Plo made a noise of surprise and turned the saber off with the force, before snatching it out of Obi-Wan’s hands.

“Kenobi! What in the Galaxy do you think you’re doing!” Mace snapped, jerking forward.

“What?!” Blue eyes widened and the small figure on the bed looked around defensively.

“A Padawan braid is sacred, you know that” Plo said slowly.

“But I’m not a real Padawan, and I haven’t been one for 15 years!”

“Yes but you can’t just go around slicing off braids, it has to be done properly!” Depa said crossly

“It’s _my_ braid I’m hardly-“

“Obi-Wan Kenobi under no circumstances will you cut that braid, understood?” Mace barked, years of authority in his tone.

The young Jedi frowned at them, clearly irritated.

“I…Fine. Yes Master” he ground out, a touch of sarcasm in his tone. He paused holding the braid laden with beads thoughtfully. “It’s heavier than I remember”.

“Yes well that’s what you get for being such an overachiever” Depa said teasingly. Obi-Wan rolled his eyes as Master Che swept into the room again.

“Masters” she nodded at them all. “I have the results of the tests Master Kenobi, would you like me to speak to you alone?” she asked. Obi-Wan shook his head.

“No no, they’ll need to be briefed anyway” he said, eyebrows quirking up he asked “So…how am I?”

“I have found nothing in your blood work to suggest any negative side effects. Physically you are well, if a little underweight and your blood pressure is higher than I’d like.” She paused to look at him disapprovingly and thumbed her pad for a moment. “However all this matches your medical records from your youth, and I can confirm you are twenty standard years of age.” she finished.

Obi-Wan’s eyebrows raised. He had always had a bit of a baby face, it’s true, Anakin had often teased him about the necessity of his beard to go into a bar. But surely he had looked a little older than this at twenty? He was knighted at twenty two for planet’s sake, and right now he looked like a scrawny kid.

“Twenty?” Mace cut in, echoing their collective surprise.

Master Che nodded.

“Correct.”

“I can see why you grew the beard” Depa snorted. Obi-Wan gave her A Look before turning back to the healer hopefully.

“Master Che is there any indication of what caused this or how to reverse it?” Plo asked, seemingly reading the young Jedi’s thoughts before he could speak.

The Twi’lek healer’s face pinched at this and Obi-Wan’s heart sank, despite the bolstering he was still receiving from the force.

“I’m afraid not” she said, a hit of apology in her voice “there is nothing to suggest it is a physiological phenomenon.” Despite his best efforts Obi-Wan must have allowed his look of dismay to show on his face, because Che turned to him with a soft expression. “We will keep trying, Obi-Wan. My team will spend more time analysing your blood samples of course”

“Thank you, Master Che” Obi-Wan gave her a weak smile. He did appreciate the effort. He learned on the Force again, seeking the warmth. It was lovely, and he lost himself in the comfort for a moment, closing his eyes.

“If you have completed your tests Vokara, perhaps some rest is in order. It has been a trying night.” Plo’s calm voice brought him out of his distraction and Obi-Wan felt himself flush slightly when he noticed his friends all looking at him with concern. He shot a grateful look at Master Plo.

“I would rather like to return to my rooms” He admitted, looking up at Master Che.

“Very well.” She leveled her gazed on him “However I would like you to get some real rest” she paused “that means going to bed and staying there for at least eight hours.”

Obi-Wan felt frustration well up inside of him. Eight hours? He nearly snorted. He hadn’t slept for eight hours at a time since…had he ever? It was a ridiculous request. There was so much to do! He knew where this was coming from, and he was managing his workload just fine thank you.

But he felt his frustration melt away as quickly as it came, washed away by the cosy feeling of the Force cradling him again, even without him inviting it in.

He simply nodded as Master Che continued.

“We also need to get your weight up. I am sure you remember the drill from the first time round.” She smiled ironically at him “However, I was easier to ignore then.”

He smiled back at her, remembering awkward stilted conversations about his eating habits and his work load, 15 years in the past. She had been incredibly kind to him and he had basically ignored her instructions, too intent on proving himself and caught up in his own anxieties, but she had always cared. He felt a rush of warmth towards her.

“…I want you eating three square meals a day, and I am going to have my Padawan put together a meal plan that she will also share with the kitchens” she informed him sternly. He knew he should be irritated, he could feed himself! But the Force was doing that_ thing_ again and he didn’t have it in him to protest, not when he was so warm and comforted.

“Thank you Master Che” he simply said, feeling slightly guilty when she looked at him rather startled. He made a mental note to be less of a Problem Patient in the future. He looked around at his friends.

“Would you excuse me while I change?” he asked politely, hopping to his feet and grabbing his bundle of brown clothes.

“Of course, we will wait for you outside my friend and see you to bed” Plo, Mace and Depa rose to their feet.

“Oh I think I can manage it” he assured his friends sarcastically.

Depa gave him a smile and Mace rolled his eyes. Plo simply ignored him and moved towards the door.

“Do as you’re told…Padawan” Mace instructed drolly, a smirk playing on his lips.

“And we’d best accompany you in case anyone tries to send you back to classes” Depa teased. Obi-Wan froze and turned to them both very slowly with a withering look.

“Oh so this is how it’s going to be is it?” he asked drily. Depa just laughed.

“I will inform the rest of the council of our progress” Mace paused “or unfortunate lack off.”

Obi-Wan nodded begrudgingly as they left the room.

\---

10 minutes later saw Plo and Mace palming open his door and gently pushing him through it. The walk from the Halls to his room had been unexpectedly arduous. A steady wave of exhaustion had been creeping over him as the walked, and the Force was constantly soothing him with renewed determination it seemed, almost whispering sleep in his ears. Obi-Wan had the rather bizarre feeling of being embraced – no, _cuddled_ by the Force. He had a fleeting panicked thought that he should have asked Master Che to run a brain scan, but it was so very difficult to worry about anything at the moment. He was tired, and so _relaxed_.

He turned to his friends and tried desperately to stop his eyes from dropping.

“Thank you” he said, attempting a polite dismissal he tilted his head towards the door. Predictably, they were having none of it and walked past him in to the living room. He rolled his eyes, glad he had at least managed to shake Depa on the way (she had been summoned by her Padawan for one reason or another)

“Would you like some tea Obi-Wan?” Plo gave him a searching look. “And perhaps you should sit down?” he added, exchanging a look with Mace over Obi-Wan’s head.

Obi-Wan shook his head and let out a breath.

“No thank you I’m…I’m very tired” he yawned. It was incredibly confusing, he was _never_ this tired, and he had once gone a week and a half without sleep!

Mace stood in front of him, his hands suddenly on the younger man’s shoulders. He looked him directly in the eyes.

“Obi-Wan are you alright?” he asked very firmly. Obi-Wan nodded and shrugged out of his grip.

“’m fine Mace. The force is being weird” He murmured, turning to head in to the bedroom. His brain had apparently turned to mush, the Force still wrapped lovingly around him, soothing him towards sleep.

Mace looked at him incredulously and followed him in to the bedroom.

“The Force is being…weird?” he asked.

Obi-Wan made an affirmative noise, sitting on the bed and yanking off his boots.

“It wants me to sleep” he explained (perhaps not as eloquently as he normally would, but he just _really _wanted to curl up under his duvet and sleep for a week).

Mace stared at him, Plo popped his head around the doorway.

“I’m going to sleep. Thank you for everything” he mumbled at them both, taking his belt off and struggling out of his outer tunic. The two Jedi stared at him, no doubt baffled by his sudden sluggishness and their bizarre situation.

“Are you sure you don’t need anything?” Plo asked, concern in his voice.

Obi-Wan waved a hand, climbing in to bed and pulling the duvet right up to his face. He sighed. It was marvelous. Had his bed always been this marvelous? He closed his eyes. The force was less insistent now, but still very much there, caressing and surrounding him.

“No thank you” he breathed. 

Someone turned out the light.

\---

He was warm and comfortable, and it was dark and quiet. Obi-Wan lay in his bed, muzzy and groggy. He had no idea how much time had passed but he was still so tired. It was not the bone deep exhaustion he had become used to, but rather a kind of slow sleepiness. He reached out with the force ever so slightly. It was still wrapped around him like an extra blanket. He had a niggling feeling of familiarity but couldn’t concentrate on it no matter how much he tried. 

He heaved his eyes open and turned his head to look at his chrono. He was shocked into a slightly more alert state when he realised he had slept right through the day and well in to the night. He closed his eyes momentarily, beginning his usual activity of compiling his mental to-do list. He had so much to do, but it was inexplicably difficult to hang on to thoughts and the Force began whispering to him again, that familiar suggestion pulling him down in to sleep.

The effectiveness of the suggestion took him by surprise. He was a Jedi Master (despite his present appearance) and the only people skilled enough to get through his shields were Mace and Yoda.

_No, I’ve slept enough. _He stubbornly resisted the suggestion but felt his busy mind slowing down nonetheless, and the muzzy feeling was returning. It continued surrounding him in safety and comfort, whispering. Still he tried to fight the calling to sleep. He wasn’t sure of his motivations anymore, only his knee jerk reaction to his autonomy being compromised and characteristic stubbornness.

“Shhh Obi-Wan. You need more sleep Padawan” a gentle voice whispered in his mind.

His heart gave a little twinge when the voice of his long dead Master joined the effort, deep and wise and so reassuring, it felt like safety and home. He felt every muscle in his body relax instantly and his shields faltered.

It was hard to care about his apparent loss of sanity, or his principles, when the Force was pulling out all the stops. He felt a phantom hand carding through his hair and that wonderful voice muttering to him again as he began to relent.

“That’s it” warm sure tones encouraged him “it’s alright, go back to sleep my Padawan. All is well”

He had never in his life disobeyed his Master, and he wasn’t about the start now. He closed his eyes one final time and drifted back in to a deep, dreamless sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Blinking slowly Obi-Wan awoke, lazily struggling to identify the reason for his wakefulness. The morning sunlight was streaming through his small window; he hadn’t closed the curtains. He stretched out languidly in bed, enjoying the rare luxury of waking up without being jolted in to alertness by his communicator or the Force screaming in warning.

Waiting for the sound of bones popping as he stretched, and the familiar feeling of aching and knotted muscles his eyes opened sharply when nothing was forthcoming, and his situation came back to him. He rolled over and groaned in to his pillow.

Yesterday had been embarrassing, to say the least, not to mention confusing. Not only was he in the body of his twenty year old self (which was just _brilliant, _he thought dismally) but he had been compelled to act like a youngling in front of the most respected members of the Order. Oh, and he’d imagined his dead Master talking to him from beyond the grave. Excellent. 

Face still mashed in to his pillow he tentatively (and somewhat resentfully) reached out to the Force. He received a soothing brush in return and a vague sense of…amusement? A kind of fond exasperation? He shook his head into the pillow. _Nope, no._ The Force was most definitely _not _sentient, and he absolutely refused to lose his marbles right now on top of everything else.

If he was going to have some kind of mental breakdown it would be at a more convenient time, he thought stubbornly.

Sighing he rolled over again and began taking stock. For the first time in far too long he could think with the clarity of a rested mind. He would need to meet with the Council and see if they could put together a plan to manage whatever was happening. Should they allow his…change to be public knowledge? Could he still be a General in the GAR? He would need to discover if his situation had compromised him in any way, he couldn’t go back to the front lines if he was unable to properly protect his troops.

Firmly pushing those thoughts away until he had more answers, he tried and failed to imagine Cody’s face when the commander saw his new appearance. A sudden thought struck him. Never mind Cody, Anakin was going to lose his mind! Not to mention the rest of his friends.

He let out a long breath. He didn’t even know where to start. Thank goodness Anakin and Ahsoka were off planet, he had a little breathing room.

His busy mind continued to plan as he stared at the ceiling.

He could check in with Master Che again today (via the safe distance of com message) and he should head to the archives and see if he could find some answers. Perhaps something like this had happened before? He should also check in with the temple on Ashas Ree, they might be able to help.

He could feel a tension headache forming behind his eyes and seriously considered pulling the covers over his head for another twenty-four hours, when he froze.

Someone entered his rooms.

He heard the front door opening and closing, followed by the rustle of light footsteps and a distinct presence in the Force. He could hear boots on lino and the familiar noise of the kettle being filled. He smiled to himself and sat up. The Master of the Order was making him tea.

\---

Washed and changed (he added a visit to the quartermaster to his mental to do list – that or bulk up fast!) he strolled into the kitchen minutes later. Mace Windu was sitting at the small table surrounded by the near-permanent piles of data pads, pieces of flimsy and bits of droid. In front of him were two steaming mugs and a sausage sandwich.

The Jedi Master looked up at him silently and let out a huff of surprise, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“This is going to take some getting used to” he said ruefully. Obi-Wan raised an incredulous eyebrow in return.

“Yes it must be very difficult for you” he said flatly. Mace grinned and pushed a mug towards him, gesturing to the empty seat at the table behind the sandwich. Obi-Wan nodded gratefully before peering down at the contents of the mug. It was tea, but not as he liked it. 

“Thank you, but you have this one. I take mine black.” He moved to re-boil the kettle when Mace cleared his throat and pushed the mug further towards Obi-Wan, stopping him in his tracks.

“Milk and sugar, per your meal plan” the other man informed him with false mildness. They both knew it was an order. Obi-Wan scowled and sat down, looking distastefully at the hot mug of beige.

He took a gulp and grimaced.

“It tastes like a dessert” he said accusingly. Mace smirked.

“Yeah well it’ll put some meat on your bones, and it’s Master Che’s orders” he replied, taking a sip of his caff. “Eat your breakfast” he instructed.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes but said nothing as Mace watched him drink.

“Are you feeling a little more energetic this morning?” the Korun Master asked innocently. Obi-Wan felt himself blush.

“Ah. Yes.” he started awkwardly, bringing a hand to rub his beardless chin before remembering. “Sorry about that, I’m afraid I don’t know what came over me.” He paused. “I can’t believe I slept so long” he admitted. Mace shrugged

“You must have needed it.” He said simply. Obi-Wan looked away.

“I suppose I should have some kind of plan” he said thoughtfully after a moment’s silence. He glanced at his old friend and the Master of the Order. “Though I’m not exactly sure how to proceed. There’s so much to do” he admitted.

Mace made a thoughtful noise.

“There’s not a lot we can do at the moment” he said evenly “except continue to investigate possible solutions” A much as he hated it, Obi-Wan realised he was right. “And have breakfast” Mace added pointedly. He was ignored. 

“What about the news of my new appearance? Should we tell everybody?”

Mace gave him a small smile.

“Well, everything yesterday morning was top secret and handled with the utmost delicacy, so of course most of the Temple knows of your situation”

Obi-Wan snorted.

“That makes life easier I suppose. But what about the Senate and the troops?”

“I don’t think we can hide anything from the clones these days.” Mace pointed out. Obi-Wan smiled into his mug of dessert. He knew the other Jedi was speaking from experience. He had a vivid memory of Mace being bodily hauled away from the holoscreen and bullied into bed by a very cross Commander Ponds after attempting to hide an illness.

“Nor would I want to, I don’t think I could suffer the consequences” Obi-Wan looked down for a moment. “But I don’t know how well I can protect them right now. I don’t even know my own body and…” he worried at his bottom lip and chose his words carefully. “I feel…unbalanced, in the Force” he admitted to his friend, guiltily. Yes, it was a whopping understatement, he wasn’t so much unbalanced as possibly unhinged, but he couldn’t bring himself to say it.

Unbelievably, Mace snorted. Obi-Wan was almost offended.

“Of course you’re unbalanced you’ve been – stop that!” Obi-Wan froze, mid-way through nibbling the skin around his nails.

“Sorry I didn’t realise I was doing it” he said sheepishly. He could feel the tips of his ears turning red. “I suppose old habits die hard.”

“Hmmm. As I was saying, I’m not surprised you’re unbalanced. I suggest a meditation with the rest of the council.” He regarded Obi-Wan and nudged the sandwich towards him with raised eyebrows.

“Oh _fine_! Look I’m eating it!” Obi-Wan cried exasperated. He took a big bite and tried his very best to chew as passive aggressively as possible. He was actually rather proud of his effort.

“Happy?” he asked sarcastically around his mouthful.

“Delirious” his friend answered drily. He cleared his throat. “Whilst we can try meditation to help you regain your centre, how about a spar to ascertain your abilities in your current…form?” he suggested.

Obi-Wan considered as he chewed. To his slight irritation now that he was eating he was suddenly absolutely famished as he hadn’t been in years.

It was a good idea, he had a lot to get to grips with physically. His muscles, balance and flexibility were all different than they normally were. If, Force help him, he was stuck like this, he would have to master himself and his sabre – quickly. Not to mention he relished the thought of letting loose in the dojo, it had been far too long since he had a good spar and his long sleep and young bones had given him a healthy dose of energy.

“That sounds sensible. Is there any space available today?” he asked, taking another bite of his breakfast.

“Yes I have reserved one of the private dojos” he smirked. Obi-Wan looked up in surprise, it was nearly impossible to get a private room for practicing, being the Master of the Order had its perks, he supposed.

“It’s a Masters dojo but I’m sure we can make an exception for you”

Obi-Wan glowered round his sandwich.

“…am a bloody Master” he mumbled. Mace laughed at him as he rose from the table.

“Excellent, I’ll see you at dojo six in two hours. There’s a copy of your meal plan on this” he waved a pad at the ginger teen. “Let the Council Attendant on duty know when you’d like to meditate, and we will book one of the meditation rooms for it with as many as can attend.”

“Thank you Master” Obi-Wan stood as well and bowed his head slightly in thanks and respect.

“Of course my friend. May the Force be with you”

\---

His conversations with Mace had left Obi-Wan feeling much better, he often found his wise friend to be a grounding influence and one of the few people able to get him out his own head. He managed a rather fruitless meditation (he immediately sank in to the new comforting embrace of the Force and spent an hour feeling fuzzy and warm, it was nice but wasn’t particularly useful for sorting his thoughts out) and another sausage sandwich, before taking a deep breath and setting out for the Master’s training rooms.

It was a rather stressful journey. It had been a long time since he had employed the shadow techniques he was using to navigate the busy corridors, they didn’t come naturally to him. Rationally he knew he could only hide from his family for so long, but he was unable to resist at least attempting to avoid the stares and whispering and gossip.

He hated being in the spotlight. Knowing people were talking about him, for good or bad, always made him feel so self-conscious and awkward. He dealt with it in the war by simply ignoring the press attention or making fun of it with Anakin (who thought the whole thing was hilarious. Cocky shit.) but in the close quarters of the temple it was harder to deal with it, and it made him feel somehow terribly alone yet claustrophobic.

He paused at a junction, considering the least obtrusive path.

“A good effort Kenobi, I can see why you’re the Master”

He jolted and nearly swore when a low familiar voice muttered into his ear.

“Vos!” he snapped, whirling around. Quinlan Vos was leaning casually on the wall just behind Obi-Wan, with no regard for his personal space, as usual. The Kiffar Jedi simply raised his eyebrows at his friend’s new appearance.

“So it’s true then? Huh, I thought it was another Kenobi rumour” he smirked “like how you supposedly tackled a rancour, or when everybody thought you were shagging the Queen of Anthosia” He paused, “or –“

“Yes well its obviously true” Obi-Wan cut in before his friend could spout more ridiculous tittle-tattle. “And I’d like you to stop repeating that sort of thing thank you very much” he added tartly, hands going in to his sleeves. His irritating friend’s smirk turned in to a full-blown grin.

“I promise nothing.”

Obi-Wan scowled.

“How long have you been following me?” he asked. The other Jedi shrugged.

“Ages” he said lazily. “Your technique is good but not quite good enough, Guardian” he shot.

Obi-Wan rolled his eyes and continued walking. The Sentinel followed. He was unable to keep up his ‘Notice-Me-Not’ Force suggestion with Quinlan so close (The man just did _not_ understand the personal bubble!) and people were starting to look at him. He could feel his ears starting to turn red.

“So” Quinlan said loudly, glaring at a few gawkers. “You’re about twenty then?” he asked conversationally. Obi-Wan looked at him gratefully. As much as he was a pain in the arse, he was a good friend.

“Yes Che’s confirmed it.” He glanced curiously at the other Jedi “you didn’t think I was younger?”

Quinlan snorted.

“I knew that twenty year old body rather well, if you remember” he said, his voice low again, his smile turning a little lecherous. Obi-Wan felt himself go bright red.

“Vos!” He hissed. 

“Oh don’t worry about it, nobody’s close enough to hear” he waved the concern away. “You look adorable by the way”

“Shut up”

Vos’ smile only widened. They continued walking. 

“How does it feel?”

Obi-Wan remined scowling at his brazen friend, and he thought for a moment.

“It’s…Odd. Very inconvenient” he sighed. He didn’t really want to talk about it, truthfully. He still didn’t quite know how he felt.

“What I wouldn’t give to be twenty again” Quinlan said wistfully, generously changing the subject. “So innocent, so optimistic” he paused and looked at Obi-Wan beside him. “So much stamina” the lecherous grin was back.

Completely against his will, Obi-Wan felt a laugh bubbling in his chest.

“You were never innocent. More like juvenile” He paused, that didn’t seem like quite enough. “And idiotic” he added for good measure.

Quinlan laughed obnoxiously and ruffled the Padawan’s spikey hair.

“So says the Negotiator”

Obi-Wan smacked his hand away and glared some more.

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?”

Quinlan shrugged again

“Just escorting a wide-eyed, naive young person though the perilous halls of the Temple. You never know who’s waiting to take advantage” he said in a sing song voice.

“Of course” Obi-Wan answered sarcastically.

“And I wanted to get a look at you. That face takes me back” He smirked and looked wistfully into the middle distance. Obi-Wan fought back his blush.

“Stop imagining it” he snapped whacking the other on the arm. Quinlan only laughed infuriatingly.

“Remembering” he corrected. Obi-wan couldn’t think of anything to say to that.

“Yes well thank you very much for your assistance Knight Vos but I have reached my destination so you should feel free to _kriff off_.”

They were indeed outside of the private training rooms for Masters. Quinlan had managed to steer them all the way without interruption and without Obi-Wan noticing the stares.

“Kriffing off” his tormentor acquiesced cheerfully. “Enjoy your sparring session, give my love and convey my deep attachment to Mace Windu for me, would you?”

Obi-Wan wasn’t going to ask how he knew who he was meeting.

“I probably won’t.”

“Fair. Chin up, enjoy your spar. I remember how much you used to enjoy getting all hot and sweaty. And how flexible you were” Quinlan waggled his eyebrows comically.

“Goodbye Vos!” Obi-Wan opened the door to the dojo to the sound of his friend’s laughter.

\---

Mace was warming up when Obi-Wan pushed open the door just enough to let himself through. He looked a little flushed but Mace imagined it was a difficult journey from his rooms to the dojo.

He felt rather sorry for his friend, he had always had trouble being the centre of attention. It was unfortunate that it happened to him so often.

“Good morning Obi-Wan. I understand you are feeling better?” Plo had decided to join them, Mace suspected it was out of curiosity than anything else but he appreciated the support. He sat on the benches at the side of the room whilst Mace ran through his Katas. Obi-Wan bowed to both of them in turn. 

Mace nearly smiled, transported for a split second. He’d forgotten what a convincing air of ‘respectful, dutiful apprentice’ Padawan Kenobi was able to display, regardless of his and his Masters shenanigans.

“Yes thank you Plo, I have rather more energy today” Obi-Wan responded wryly

“Good” Mace interrupted. He gestured to the mat. “Warm up?”

For a few moments there was silence as both Masters ran through their respective favourite Katas and exercises, only to synchronise when they reached the most advanced, Obi-Wan following Mace’s lead.

“Are you ready yet?” Plo shifted on the bench, giving away his impatience. Mace grinned, he enjoyed sparring with Obi-Wan, he was the only being in the temple who posed a legitimate challenge for Mace, but as their matches usually drew a large crowd his shy friend did not indulge him often.

“Ready when you are _Master_” his young partner confirmed, one eyebrow raised in cocky suggestion. “Of course I understand if you need a little more time”

Mace snorted

“Not on your life _Padawan”_

Both men assumed battle stance, Mace’s blade in front of him and Obi-Wan’s high above his head, in the classic Soresu pose parallel to the floor. It made for a strange picture, Mace fleetingly noted. Never mind Soresu being one of the least common lightsaber forms it was also one of the most challenging, and Padawans just didn’t have the patience.

As usual Mace jumped in to the match first, coming down on his opponent hard in a fast swinging stroke, he was blocked, as predicted. But instead of fancy footwork and a graceful counterstrike the most unexpected thing happened; His usually formidable opponent seemed to flail a little, and in a frankly bizarre move Obi-Wan brought his sabre about in a form III strike, whist simultaneously giving a jump in the air and kicking out. Mace barely managed to avoid being kicked in the head as he dodged and frantically turned off his sabre and attempted to catch his friend as he fell down in a tangle of limbs.

For a moment nobody spoke. Mace stared stupefied at the young man on the floor in front of him, and Plo came over from the benches.

“Well that was….” Mace started but couldn’t quite find the right words. Obi-Wan groaned.

“What the shit?” he asked incredulously, large confused blue eyes looked up at Mace from the floor.

“Are you alright?” Plo began hauling Obi-Wan to his feet and Mace snapped back to reality.

“Thank you, I believe so” he rubbed at his wrist a little, still staring at the floor where he’d fallen, and rolled his shoulders as Plo walked him over to the bench. “I can’t believe that just happened!”

Mace made a noise of agreement and sat on the bench sandwiching Obi-Wan between himself and Plo. To Mace’s completely inappropriate amusement, Plo ran a soothing hand over the young man’s back. It seemed no matter the form or situation, Master Koon just couldn’t control his instincts around a Padawan in distress. The Kel Door hummed thoughtfully.

“I believe you may have been attempting to use Soresu and Ataru at the same time” he said slowly. Mace and Obi-Wan looked at him. “Your mind using Soresu and your body automatically using Ataru” he clarified.

“That does make sense, you looked like you were attempting an Ataru aerial move for a moment” Mace added, he sent a look over their friend’s head at Plo. This was not good news.

Obi-Wan groaned and put his head in his hands.

“Fantastic.” Straightening up he looked at neither of his companions “What am I going to do?” he asked miserably in a soft voice “I can’t even fight properly how am I going to do anything?” Mace could feel the slightest feeling of panic leaking into the Force.

He felt very sorry for his friend. He worked incredibly hard on his lightsaber training and was well known as one of the best. It was an integral part of Obi-Wan Kenobi’s identity. He cleared his throat, hoping to snap the young man out of his moping.

“Well, you’ll just re-learn it.” he said firmly “You’ve got all the technical knowledge already, it will come back with training.” Obi-Wan looked dubiously at him. “Lots of training” Mace clarified.

“Brilliant.” Obi-Wan muttered, but he sat up straighter and seemed to gather himself as he let out a long breath. “But it’s not like I haven’t started from scratch before” he said, his voice still soft but unmistakeably determined. Mace had the suspicion he was talking more to himself than anyone else.

“Can I ask, my friend” Plo started “Why you switched from IV to Form III in the first place?” he asked in his slow, deep voice. Mace leaned in curiously. He himself had always wondered, he assumed it had something to do with Qui-Gon’s death but had never asked. He hadn’t spent much time with Obi-Wan as a new Knight, he didn’t realise he had changed form until many years after Naboo.

Obi-Wan looked at Plo for a moment, before again looking at the empty dojo with a horrible twisted smile. 

“Well I suppose there’s no harm in telling you now” he paused. “After Qui-Gon, after Naboo” he stopped for a moment, seemingly choosing his words carefully “I kept trying…” he faltered and took a breath. Mace exchanged a worried glance with Plo but said nothing. Obi-Wan had a faraway look in his eyes.

“Every time I picked up my sabre, I was back there behind the red shields. I kept seeing him getting stabbed by Maul and…dying, in my arms” he said softly, still looking in to the distance. “After a bit of trial and error Form IV appeared to be a trigger for me, I decided to change forms. Soresu seemed like a natural choice as I had a new Padawan to defend.”

There was absolute silence in the dojo, and Mace closed his eyes as the Force appeared to wail in grief and sadness.

For the first time in many years, Mace could feel his emotions rolling through him. Sadness, shock, guilt and an irrational anger all rose up within him.

“You have PTSD” Plo clarified gently, his hand still on his friends back. Obi-Wan gave a little snort, as if it was obvious.

It took an unexpected amount of effort for Mace to release his turmoil.

“Yes I believe so. Over this and…other things.” Obi-Wan said, waving a hand in the air dismissively. Still he wouldn’t look at them.

Mace felt his heart break a little.

“Obi-Wan…” Plo started, and then trailed off, rubbing the young man’s back again soothingly.

“I’m so sorry” Mace whispered. He stood up. Obi-Wan finally turned to look at him, unbelievably, with surprise written all over his face. He made a very unintelligent noise.

“Oh, ah, well it’s not your fault it just…is” he shrugged awkwardly in such a Master Kenobi gesture Mace found it jarring in the Padawan before him. He stopped short, appalled at the blaze attitude of his friend. He felt more slightly irrational anger well up inside him and he took a deep centring breath.

“Obi-Wan” Plo’s deep reassuring voice helped to ground him and broke the pregnant silence. “Have you spoken to anybody about this?”

The ginger human shook his head silently. Mace honestly didn’t expect anything different and barely managed to stop himself from shaking his idiot friend. 

“No” barely a whisper. Mace sighed and Plo made a disapproving noise. Obi-Wan fixed guarded blue eyes on the empty room again.

“I know, I know I should have” he ran hands through his hair “I meant to, I just…didn’t have time.” Mace was unable to hide his dubious look and Plo remained conspicuously silent, waiting for their young friend to continue.

“I was so busy with Anakin and learning to be a Master and starting solo missions I just…” he gave another awkward little shrug and sighed. “I managed it, I _am_ managing it. I’m fine.” He said firmly, a kind of steel entering his gaze.

Mace took a moment to be a little insulted, who did Obi-Wan think he was kidding? He badly needed to meditate and by the look of it so did Plo. He could feel the Kel Door’s dismay in the Force, and Obi-Wan’s shields were durasteel tight.

He sighed and sat down again on the bench. 

“As capable as you are, my friend” Mace started, concentrating on keeping his tone even. He held a hand up when Obi-Wan made to argue “and as far as you have come, you do need to address this.” Mace was a field Jedi, well aware of the affects of trauma “before it presents itself in dangerous ways.”

“I know” the younger man sighed “I kept meaning too, and then after…Rattatak” he swallowed and trailed off. The silence from the other two was thick with tension, the Force swirling around them unhappily.

Since his ordeal Mace had heard Obi-Wan mention his time with the witch Ventress exactly twice; once after an entire bottle of Aldreaanian rum, and once when he was out of his mind on pain killers after an explosion.

He remembered vividly the state Obi-Wan was in after his torture on the Sith-forsaken planet. It had shaken them all; any other Jedi would have fallen or died Mace was sure. It wasn’t until they received a firm talking to from Obi-Wan himself months afterwards that the Council was able to let him out of their sight without worrying themselves sick.

The young man next to him sighed again.

“I can’t have anything covering my face” he volunteered unexpectedly “It…sends me back there. To Rattatak. To Ventress” he swallowed audibly.

_‘the Sith mask’_ Mace realised. His heart constricted again and he sent a pulse of sympathy through the Force. Obi-Wan offered a shaky smile in response.

“I do need to see someone, I know.” He said finally.

“Well…whilst we work on your sabre technique, and figure out your transformation, why not make an appointment with Healer Sands? He is our best Mind Healer.” Mace suggested, as gently as possible. They were firmly in unknown territory, Obi-Wan had never opened up this way and Mace was terribly afraid of breaking the spell.

“That’s a good idea” the troubled Padawan said quietly. Mace got the impression some internal battle was waging inside his head. The three sat in silence for a moment, Plo slowly rubbing Obi-Wan’s back again whilst both elder Jedi sent support and reassurance in the Force.

“Well” the young man said a few minutes later, his voice sounded slightly stronger “no time like the present I suppose. I think I’ve rather had enough of sparring for today” he said wryly, slapping both hands on his knees and standing up. He looked at them both, and whilst he looked rather drawn Mace was beyond relieved to see the beginnings of the familiar sparkle in his eyes.

“I…Thank you” he said earnestly, sending a pulse of gratitude towards them both in the Force and bowing slightly.

“Always, my friend” Plo responded with a smile, and Mace raised a hand in dismissal as they watched him exit the dojo.

As the heavy doors closed behind the slim body Mace let out a long breath and linked his hands behind his head. Plo’s posture collapsed and they looked at each other.

“I can’t believe I missed it” Mace said dully. He was angry and disappointed and upset. He was the Master of the Order, his people were his responsibility and he couldn’t help but feel like he’d failed.

“It is not on you my friend” Plo assured him “He was the responsibility of the entire council, and we all let him down.”

Mace shook his head.

“We should’ve guessed there would be repercussions after Naboo. We should have made _sure_-“ Plo cut him off with a wave of his hand and a negative noise.

“We both know that if Obi-Wan Kenobi wants to hide something there is no Force in the Galaxy that can make him reveal it.” He paused. “We could’ve dragged him kicking and screaming to Healer Sands but it would not have worked if he did not want to talk.”

Mace knew he was right. Obi-Wan was the most stubborn man he had ever known, and he remembered newly Knighted Kenobi taking to training a Padawan with impressive single-minded determination. No, he would have refused to have been distracted with his own wellbeing. Still.

“We should’ve kept a closer eye on him.” Mace sighed again and attempted to release his feelings in to the Force. Plo looked at him.

“It is not too late, we can be there now” he said, his voice deep and reassuring. He put a hand on Mace’s shoulder and ignited his yellow sabre. “In the meantime, I believe you are owed a spar?”

Plo was right, Mace thought, they could start supporting their friend properly now. Better late than never. He grinned. It had been a long time since he’d had the chance to <strike>play</strike> train with another Master, and it did always end up clearing his mind.

“You may regret that Master Koon”


	3. Chapter 3

His impromptu catharsis had left Obi-Wan feeling drained. In the silence of the empty corridor he leant against the wall and breathed deeply.

That had been hard. For a moment there he thought he might end up having a little cry right there in the training room. 

He couldn’t imagine what had come over him, he had never discussed his self-diagnosed PTSD with anyone; it was simply (yet) another obstacle to be overcome with gritted teeth and determination. He suspected Anakin had some idea but it was a weakness that, if acknowledged, could have taken his Padawan from him. He was certain Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder was not something a brand new too-young Master with a traumatised prodigy apprentice was allowed to have.

He breathed out again, lifting his head from the wall and lowering his shields. He felt the Force flood into and around him, softly reassuring and sympathetic. It had been with him in the dojo but muted somehow, finally respecting his shields perhaps?

No, he couldn’t blame his revelations on the Force. It had just felt like…the right time. He trusted his friends and when he was sitting between them in the dojo, the heart of his home, he realised that for the first time in a long time sharing his burden would not impact anybody else; Anakin was no longer his Padawan and so would be unaffected by his failures, he wasn’t going to be embarking on missions or re-joining the fight for peace for a while anyway, and he was on the council so nobody could stop him from performing his duties. Hopefully he had proven himself by now.

Using all his might Obi-Wan pushed himself off the wall and started the journey to the Healing Halls, fifteen years in the making. Though still feeling a little shaky and wrung out, he walked with the purposeful stride of a Jedi Master. This time he ignored the stares, offering polite smiles to gawkers as he passed.

Not breaking his gait as he entered the Halls he made for the reception desk, the Senior Padawan on duty nodding politely at him.

“Hello there Padawan” he greeted with a slight bow. He was slightly irked when he received a very unimpressed look in return.

‘_Teenagers’_ he supposed.

“Good morning” they returned flatly, without a hint of sincerity. “How can I help you?” 

Obi-Wan cleared his throat. He was not generally too conscious of his rank, but he had to admit he was used to a little more deference. 

“I’d like to make an appointment with Master Sands please” he requested with frosty politeness, attempting to convey a slight rebuke, using a tone he usually reserved for teaching.

Inexplicably the Padawan looked a little insulted. They raised both eyebrows.

“I’m afraid as a Senior Mind Healer, Master Sands only sees _Masters_” came the tart response. 

Obi-Wan looked at them blankly for a moment before it dawned on him, _Of course! Idiot! _He felt like smacking a hand to his forehead when he remembered his current appearance was not that of Council Member Master Kenobi, but a (rather patronising) Senior Padawan! No wonder the Padawan was so irritated!

“Ah. Apologies Padawan I understand I do not look like it at the moment, but I am Master Kenobi” he let that sink in. “You may check with Master Che, she is aware of my situation.”

The person behind the desk stared at him for a moment and he offered a small encouraging smile.

“I…apologise Master” they started awkwardly “Please let me check-“

“Obi-Wan Kenobi”

Obi-Wan winced. Vokara Che stopped by the reception desk holding a pile of data pads, looking at him with suspicion

“Master Che” he greeted with another bow.

“Are you alright Master Kenobi?” she came closer and looked him up and down “You have not discovered any adverse effects of your change?”

“No no” he attempted to cut her off before she could really hit her stride and bully him in to an examination. “I am actually here to make an appointment.” He paused. “With Master Sands” he clarified.

Che looked at him, surprise written all over her face. She blinked.

“You have come in to make an appointment?” she asked.

“Yes”

“Voluntarily?”

“Yes”

“Sorry” she looked at him suspiciously, reaching for clarity again. “_You_, Obi-Wan Kenobi, have come in, voluntarily, to book an appointment with a Mind Healer?”

“I am attempting to, yes” he answered, with some amusement. She looked like she might die of shock.

“I…well” she looked down at the Padawan and gathered herself somewhat “I’m sure Padawan Abara can find you the next available appointment” The Padawan nodded quickly and hurriedly tapped at the screen.

“I would appreciate it”

Che kept staring at him.

“Are you sure you’re alright?” she asked, concerned now.

“Oh you know” he said airily “as fine as one can be when one is hearing everything in song and feeling the sudden urge to paint everything orange” he threw a wink at the Padawan, who blushed “I’m sure Master Sands will be able to help though, don’t let it trouble you Master Che”

Che rolled her eyes.

“You’re fine” she said flatly. He smiled a genuine smile at her.

“Yes, though I appreciate your concern. Padawan Abara about that appointment…?”

“Yes Master Kenobi, Master Sands can fit you in tomorrow morning at tenth hour” the teenager behind the desk confirmed, now every inch the dutiful polite Jedi Padawan.

“Thank you very much I will see you then.” He bowed low to both and made to leave the room just as swiftly as he had entered.

“Ah, Master Kenobi” He froze as Master Che halted his exit. Turning around he raised one eyebrow as she came towards him.

“Master?”

She motioned to her chrono.

“It is lunchtime” she pointed out. A second eyebrow joined the first as he looked at her in confusion.

“Ah, yes indeed it is.”

“Good. Just making sure you are aware.” She nodded approvingly. “I suppose your next stop will be the refectory?”

Obi-Wan nearly groaned out loud. He had totally forgotten about the _stupid_ meal plan. Violently squashing his desire to sulk he smiled charmingly at her. In truth, he had clean forgotten about lunch and had been planning to hole up in the archives for the rest of the day. He was still full from breakfast for goodness sake!

“I was actually force-fed sausages by one of your co-conspirators not too long ago” he remarked casually. 

“Good.” She hummed in approval. “You may not be hungry but at least go and see the kitchens for something, they have the list.”

“I…Yes fine. I’ll do that now” he acquiesced through gritted teeth. The Master Healer smirked.

“Excellent, I shall let them know you’re coming”

_Oh for the love of – _

_“_Thank you Master” he ground out, bowing slightly as he turned on his heal.

\---

Twenty-five years ago, a trip to the kitchens would’ve been a huge adventure. Obi-Wan had many fond memories of sneaking away from the creche, standing watch in the corridor whilst Reeft weaponised his charisma in pursuit of midnight snacks.

_How times have changed_ he thought wryly.

He had planned on going straight from the kitchens to the archives, perhaps with a muja fruit and a protein bar in his robe. However, the sheer amount of food that had been forced into his hands by the overzealous but well-meaning chefs meant he had absolutely zero chance of sneaking it all past Madame Nu.

The kitchen staff had always taken his lack of interest in food as a personal insult, despite years of him attempting to assure them otherwise.

Dumping the food on the side in his kitchen he stared at it for a moment, and then sighed. He’d only get hassle later if he didn’t eat anything, and the kitchen team had been very kind.

Sitting at the table with a bowl of broth he plucked a pad at random from the stack in front of him.

_“_A Comprehensive History of the Applications of Munti’s Law in Tribology and Surface Engineering_”_

_Sweet Force!_ He sipped his broth and gazed into space. If he were stranded in a desert somewhere with nothing to read but that book, he would sooner eat it than read it. It was hard to believe he and Anakin were the same species sometimes.

He was snapped out of his contemplations by the chirp of his com.

“Hello, Kenobi speaking”

“Master Kenobi” the voice on the other end was bright and polite “Master Windu has instructed me to inform you that Knight Skywalker and Padawan Tano will shortly be arriving in the temple”

_Oh…bother. _

“Are you certain Padawan? I was under the impression they were not due back for another week at least.” A horrible thought struck him “Are they in trouble or injured?”

The person (he’d taken a punt on the young sounding voice belonging to a Padawan, probably on council administration duty) on the other end of the line made a negative noise.

“No Master, from what I can gather backup from Mater Stragg meant they were able to complete their mission faster than expected.”

Obi-Wan let out a relived breath.

“Excellent. That’s excellent. Thank you for informing me Padawan.”

“Not a problem Master, may the Force be with you”

“And with you” About to hang up he stopped himself, “Ah Padawan?”

“Yes Master?”

Obi-Wan dithered for a moment. With Anakin and Ahsoka returning his To Do list became much longer. He may as well cross something off whilst he had the chance.

“Could I make an appointment with the rest of the council please? For a Meditation session with those available?”

If the Padawan was surprised by his request they didn’t let on, and by the end of the call Obi-Wan had an appointment with his colleagues for two days time.

Mid way through congratulating himself on personal growth and industriousness, he froze. Where a niggling sensation in the back of his mind had been growing for some time, his bond with Anakin suddenly flared into life, as it usually did when his supernova of a friend came within a twelve parsec radius. Obi-Wan smiled reflexively.

And then the Force did A Thing;

The background buzz of warmth and comfort on the edge of his shields, that had been his companion since he woke up, suddenly became a tidal wave of…happiness? As if a dam had burst, blinding light and a floaty sense of elation engulfed him, a feeling of unbridled joy he himself hadn’t felt in a long time. There was a notion of pride in there too, but he couldn’t understand at what. Obi-Wan felt himself quickly becoming overwhelmed by the sheer onslaught of emotions – he wanted to laugh, sing, cry, and perhaps to vomit? All at once.

The euphoria quickly turned to distress when he found himself quite unable to cope. He was dimly aware of falling off his chair but was unconcerned as at that exact moment Anakin picked up on his distress and their bond went, for want of a better word, bonkers.

He heard someone groan (Force was that him?) and he put his hands over his head in a vain attempt to block something, _anything_ out as Anakin’s overbearing concentrated concern and upset met the onslaught of emotions from the Force, resulting in a painful cacophony of feelings he was not equipped to deal with.

He wasn’t sure how long he lay in a ball on the lino clutching his head, when he felt strong hands turning him over and muffled shouting.

“Master? Obi-Wan can you hear me?”

“Skywalker, his shields.”

“Masters? I’ll call the Healers”

_‘Oh not the bloody healers’ _was his very last thought before he felt Anakin’s mind brush against his own, sending him in to the blissful blackness of sleep.

\---

“…no no, still good. Yeah. You go on we’ll see you later…like a baby”

Someone was talking. Hushed tones but still, making noise.

Obi-Wan groaned and instinctively rolled away from the sound, squashing himself up against the wall. His head hurt something awful.

“Hang on snips we’ve got movement. I’ll com you back.”

A beep and then nothing. Obi-Wan breathed out carefully in the silence. Good. This ‘Snips’ would just have to wait.

_Snips is an odd name_ He mused lazily. _That’s Anakin’s name for Ahsoka_. He marvelled at the coincidence. _Huh. _

Anakin. Anakin was on his way? Wait.

Everything suddenly came back to him and he jolted into wakefulness, eyes opening he shot up in bed.

And instantly regretted it.

“Ow!” he moaned, wincing, his head exploding in pain as he sat up too quickly.

“Holy shit!”

As he flung an arm out to steady himself it collided with something. _Ah._ The voice had indeed been Anakin, and evidently he was sitting on the bed.

“Language” he corrected automatically, still with his hand over his eyes to try and minimise the stabbing pain behind them. There was a beat before Anakin snorted.

“It is you then.”

Obi-Wan signed, peaking out from behind his hands.

“Ugh, I’m afraid so.”

There was a moment of silence as the two regarded each other. Obi-Wan suddenly felt some trepidation, he had no idea what his friend was thinking.

Anakin, for his part, was looking at him with a something akin to awe.

“Woah.”

He let out a low whistle and Obi-Wan flinched. 

“Sorry!” he was instantly apologetic. “Is your head still hurting?”

Obi-Wan simply nodded. He rather suspected at this point it was a full-blown migraine, he was well accustomed to the feeling. After his bond with Qui-Gon had essentially snapped he had spent years fending off periodic migraines.

He breathed out again and slowly moved his hand from his face, squinting at his young friend.

“What…What happened?” he looked down at himself and his surroundings. He was in his under shirt and trousers, in his own bed beneath the blankets. He reached out with the Force and hit something of a wall. All he could sense was Anakin and their bond.

“I was in the kitchen…?” He looked around his dark bedroom, confused gaze settling on Anakin, perched on the end of his bed.

“Uh” the young man looked a little flummoxed by the question “well I felt you having some kind of… fit or something.” He explained. “The Force was going absolutely mental” he added. “Windu met me here, I think he could feel it too.”

“_Master_ Windu Anakin”

The young man looked at him profoundly unimpressed. Obi-Wan immediately felt a little guilty.

“Sorry, go on”

Anakin shrugged.

“There’s not much more to tell. We kind of picked you up and I helped with your shields and you’ve been out for” he checked the chrono on the wall “three hours” he confirmed.

Obi-Wan reached out with the Force again, feeling nothing beyond Anakin’s presence.

“Thank you” he said earnestly. “You’ve been here all that time?”

“Yeah, I managed to keep the healers at bay as long as I stuck around to keep an eye on you” he shrugged again. “Which I think maybe I should do from now on” he added with a smirk. His former Master sent a pulse of his deep and unending gratitude through their bond. Anakin smiled.

There was another moment of silence, Obi-Wan working through a bout of nausea and Anakin simply staring at him.

“This is so weird” he said, the awe returning.

“It really is.” The older Jedi confirmed. “I suppose Master Windu filled you in?”

“Yeah, as much as he could” Anakin nodded and shook his head. “Only you Master.” Unbelievably, the cheeky young man had the audacity to snicker.

Obi-Wan couldn’t be bothered to glare, choosing instead to ignore him. 

“I’m afraid I can’t really elaborate much further” he looked helplessly at his friend, scrunching up his face again when a wave of pain hit him. He was infinitely grateful Anakin had not turned on the light.

“Don’t worry about it Master. We can talk later.”

Obi-Wan resisted the urge to raise his eyebrows in surprise. _Anakin Skywalker, patient for answers?_

“Do I look that bad?” He could feel the other’s concern once he tuned in to the bond again.

“Er…well, I mean it’s hard to tell since you have a new face, but yeah.” _Fantastic_. “But I can feel it too” he added hurriedly.

Obi-Wan once more reached out with the Force, and again was met with nothing but the presence of Anakin.

“You can stop now I think.” He said slowly.

Anakin looked at him dubiously.

“Are you sure?”

The Master cocked his head to the side.

“I think I’d like to try.” He remembered for a second how he felt before Anakin had extended his own shields around him, and winced. “Could you, ah, remain ready just in case please?”

“Sure” Anakin closed his eyes and took a breath. “Here we go.”

Obi-Wan felt a strange sense of freedom as Anakin gradually withdrew from his mind, a kind of tightness loosening, like a bandage coming off.

The Force began to come back to him. It was nowhere near as strong as before, and he felt no additional pain past his existing headache. It still felt a little overbearing, but much softer and soothing in a similar way to the previous night. He felt Anakin retreat even further and more of the Force poured back into him.

He breathed a sigh of relief and opened his eyes, giving Anakin a reassuring look.

Anakin, however, had his eyes shut and a look of confusion on his face.

“Master the Force…it’s…being…funny.”

_Ah._ He had rather gotten used to the new feeling in the Force, it hadn’t occurred to him Anakin might get some impression of it. It made sense, he supposed, the boy was in his head, their presences intertwined. The whole thing was fascinating really.

“I know, it’s alright.” He said gently, finally managing to push his headache into the Force. “It’s been like that since I changed. I can’t explain it.” Obi-Wan shuffled towards Anakin. It was wonderful to have some relief from his migraine.

“It’s…nice” then younger man said in wonder. His eyes opened suddenly, and he fixed his gaze on his Master. “It’s sorry” he said incredulously. “Master how is that possible? The Force can’t be sorry…can it?” Blue eyes looked at him in disbelief and confusion. “I mean…it can’t _feel_ anything right? But…but it’s definitely sorry.”

Obi-Wan squashed the inappropriate urge to laugh and remained silent whilst his friend worked through everything. He concentrated for a moment himself and did indeed get an apologetic feeling gently brushing against his mind. As well as a more familiar, and slightly more frustrating notion.

“And it really wants you to sleep”

_Of course,_ Obi-Wan nearly rolled his eyes. Of course, the most Force sensitive being alive was right there to pick up on all this. Excellent.

“Yes thank you Anakin. I think I’ll be fine from now would you put your shields up please?”

The man in question looked at him for a moment before acquiescing.

Once they were both back in their respective heads, the bond thrumming normally between them they looked at each other in silence.

“What was _that_?”

“I’m afraid I have no idea” Obi-Wan could feel the Force whispering sleep to him again, and it was getting harder to hold his head up. He rubbed at his eyes and made a concentrated effort to strengthen his shields. But the apologetic feeling and pull of sleep made it through, and he felt himself slump on the bed.

“Feeling a little bit tired there Master?” Anakin was giving him a smug smile. Obi-Wan wished he had the strength to whack him.

“I don’t know that the kriff it thinks it’s doing” he grumbled in response. His companion only laughed at him.

“Don’t swear at the Force Obi-Wan” he admonished teasingly. His expression softened a little though. “It’s got the right idea though Master, why don’t you go back to sleep?”

“Mmm.” He really was very tired, and so very comfortable. There were probably reasons he should stay awake, but he couldn’t think of any of them right now.

He didn’t realise he had closed his eyes until he felt hands push him back on to the pillows properly and he heard Anakin chuckle softly.

“You’re so cute Master.”

“Mmm. Shut up ‘N’kin.”


	4. Chapter 4

Anakin was not there when Obi-Wan woke up. Groggily rubbing a hand over his face he took a moment, shoved the clingy Force away, looked at his chrono and cursed.

Rushing through the temple after the quickest shower of his life meant Obi-Wan was skidding to a half outside the Halls of Healing with five minutes to spare. Straightening his robes and trying to push his still-damp hair in to place he paused at the door in front of him.

_Back here again._

He smiled at Padawan Abara, who executed a perfectly respectful bow and gestured to a corridor just off the main reception that Obi-Wan had never noticed before. Although, he was usually attempting to escape or talk himself out of bed rest and so hadn’t noticed a lot around these halls.

The Mind Healers wing was quiet. Obi-Wan supposed it was to craft an air of calm and tranquility, but he just found it eerie after the bustle and noise of the regular healers. Large windows looked out upon the temple gardens, and the walls were covered in ornate nature scenes with the occasional vase of flowers on a plinth. It was airy and tasteful; Obi-Wan hated it.

He spotted Master Sands plaque on a door towards the end of the corridor and, quite independent of his brain, he felt his legs slow down and his feet come to a complete stop.

He looked at the door for a solid minute. _Deep breaths. In. Out._

For the first time in many years, he felt nervous, possibly even afraid. He was a Jedi Master; Force knows he’d had his share of difficult experiences. He had faced down Sith Lords, angry Kings and emperors, and a teenage Anakin Skywalker. He wasn’t being boastful when he said he had felt no fear in those situations, not like now. On missions and in war zones he had a job to do, get it done and get out. And he knew the stakes.

This wasn’t like that, this truly was the unknown. And he was legitimately afraid of what he might find.

What if he was actually broken? He had long known all his doubts and anxieties and problems were real, what if Master Sands found out he wasn’t fit to be a Jedi?

His fists closed at his sides, his heartbeat was loud in his ears and he was beginning to get overwhelmed with the urge to fight-or-flight.

Once again his formidable mental shields seemed to mean nothing, and he felt an encouraging nudge from the Force. He pushed back ever so slightly with his anxiety, only to receive another stronger nudge, and a vivid memory popped in to his head.

_He was kneeling on the floor of the council chamber, sunlight pouring in as he shook his head at Master Yoda. _

_ I will train Anakin... without the approval of the Council, if I must.”_

Obi-Wan smiled, despite himself. The start of his greatest challenge.

Another memory surfaced.

_He was on Geonosis. Filthy, exhausted beyond belief and hurting everywhere. Surrounded by injured and anxious clones. He heard noise in the distance and cries of alarm; more were coming. _

_He felt tears forming in his eyes from the sheer effort of moving but standing up next to the crates he snarled and lit his saber. If they wanted his men, they’d have to go through him. _

Obi-Wan blinked and he felt more memories come faster and faster, flashing though his mind.

_He was offering to blow himself up on Bandomeer so Qui-Gon could get away and help the others. _

_He was in front of his troops facing legions and legions of battle droids. _

_His room was dark and existence seemed to weigh him down. He had ran out of silent tears. A small figure stood in the doorway; it was time to get up and smile. He had a Padwan to train. _

_There were at least thirteen pirates trying to get to Satine, and there was no backup coming. He ignited his saber. _

_He was standing in front of a tearful Bant, bracing himself for a punch from Bruck. _

Obi-Wan closed his eyes as the memories came and went, and two short words formed in the Force, whispered straight into his mind. 

**Brave. Strong.**

And then nothing.

He opened his eyes, suddenly full of a newfound confidence and peace he wasn’t going to question, and he opened the door.

“Master Kenobi, thank you for coming”

\---

He had never felt more wrung out. How he made it back to his rooms, Obi-Wan wasn’t sure, but the minute he arrived home he collapsed on the squashy sofa.

If someone had told him how taxing just talking would be, he wouldn’t have believed them. But an hour of discussion with Master Sands, followed by some shared meditation, had left him feeling like he’d taken on a battalion of droids and then sparred with Mace Windu.

The appointment had been more of an equal discussion than Obi-Wan had anticipated, Mater Sands had been frank with him; they had a long way to go. But by the end of the session the healer had informed Obi-Wan that he suspected he had textbook cases of both PTSD and low self-esteem.

That had been hard to hear.

But Master Sands had been quick to reassure him future sessions would confirm this, and then they could start a course of treatment.

The weary Master closed his eyes for a moment and opened himself up to the Force. For the first time, actively seeking it’s new warm, loving embrace. He was not disappointed. Feeling somewhat buoyed, he relaxed. And felt a gentle prod in his mind.

Anakin was coming back, and he could feel Obi-Wan’s exhaustion. He braced himself but really couldn’t be bothered to move.

“Master what in the galaxy have you been doing?” the young man entered the room in his usual understated style, dumping his cloak and a bag unceremoniously on the floor. The older (younger?) Jedi opened his eyes lazily.

“Oh you know” he waved his hand airily “just” he looked Anakin directly in the eye. “Chilling out” he said casually, articulating the ‘t’.

Anakin froze comically, wide blue eyes staring at the small figure on the sofa as if he had grown a second head. Ob-Wan couldn’t resist snorting at the look on his friend’s face and shifted his gaze to behind the dark-haired man at the other figure in the room. Dithering just inside the door.

Sitting up he smiled kindly at Ahsoka, firmly pushing the Force to one side. It was now bubbling happily around all three of them.

“Hello Ahsoka” he greeted carefully.

The young Togruta stared back at him with a look of astonishment he was now used to. He waited patiently whilst large azure eyes took in his new appearance. Probing gently with the Force he discovered a hint of…dismay? Distress? He frowned.

“It’s still me Padawan” he said softly, stretching his arms out, palms up, and brushing against her mind with the Force.

“I…” she looked away and then back, and smiled shyly “Hi Master Obi-Wan”

He grinned back at her and patted the seat next to him. Anakin looked at them both fondly, stopping to ruffle his former Master’s short spikey hair as he passed on the way to the kitchen.

Ducking and scowling Obi-Wan glared after him, somewhat mollified by the encouraging sound of the kettle being boiled and the clang of mugs.

“Are you feeling better Master Obi-Wan?”

“I’m fi-“ Obi-Wan stopped short of his usual reply and ran a hand over his face. He was knackered. “Truthfully, I’m a little worn out” he gave her a weak smile. “I’m afraid my energy levels perhaps don’t quite match my appearance.” He paused. “Thank you for helping earlier.”

“No problem Master” The young woman shrugged and opened her mouth to say more when Anakin re-appeared with three mugs of tea.

“Here” he shoved Obi-Wan’s favorite mug into his hands (‘Sith Happens’) who nodded gratefully, before realising, to his disappointment, that it was another mug of hot sugary milk water.

Anakin caught his gaze and slapped a protein bar into his hand.

“And the protein bar” he said reproachfully. He waved a pad at the ginger teen. Obi-Wan stared at him for a moment before the credit dropped.

“You’ve got the karking meal plan” he observed, intensely unimpressed. Ahsoka giggled.

“Language Padawan” Anakin teased “and yeah, from Windu _and_ Che” Obi-Wan narrowed his eyes, but didn’t have the energy to reprimand his former student. “We’re team Kenobi” Anakin proclaimed, locking eyes with the now-Senior Padawan and smirking cockily.

“That is _not _a team.” Obi-Wan glared at him, annoyed.

All he got was Anakin’s shit eating grin.

“Sure is, gotta get you fattened up and well-rested. Team effort.”

“I do not need _fattening up. _I’m not a nerf Anakin”

His young friend fixed him with a considering look.

“No Master, you’re kind of more like a loth-cat right now.”

Obi-Wan blinked at him, forgetting his affront for a moment.

“A loth-cat?”

“Yeah you know; you’re all small and fuzzy, and orange. And you’ve got those big eyes.” He shrugged. “Loth-Cat” he summed up.

“I- Anakin!” Obi-Wan spluttered “I am most certainly not _fuzzy” _he said with venom. “And I’m average height thank you very much.”

Ahsoka laughed

“You are orange though Master” she pointed out, and he couldn’t really argue with that except to say

“Pot. Kettle.”

Padawan and Grand-Master smiled at each other for a moment, before Obi-Wan felt Anakin’s eyes boring into him.

“What?”

The other man shifted in his chair.

“You are kind of small and skinny though Obi-Wan, Che says you’re twenty but I mean…what happened?” he asked, cautiously curious.

Obi-Wan put down his mug and sighed. He hated speaking of the past and really felt he had bared his soul enough for one day. But his friend did deserve an answer.

“I had a somewhat…tough apprenticeship” he held up a hand when Anakin opened his mouth. “Qui-Gon was a great Jedi, highly sort after and skilled. It meant lots of difficult missions, and we had a rather turbulent start” he looked at both of them in turn “That I _don’t_ want to go in to right now” he said firmly, before continuing. “But I’m afraid I made rather a mess of things on more than one occasion, and as a Padawan I had a lot to prove.” He paused, thinking for a moment, eyes fixed on his mug. “There wasn’t much time for relaxing and…things.” (‘_Eating, sleeping, being average’_ a treacherous part of his mind supplied). He looked down at himself. “I think I must have been quite stressed most of the time” he said consideringly.

_Huh_. This was the first time he’d really thought about it.

There was silence as Anakin and Ahsoka looked at him. Ahsoka was clearly mulling things over, whereas Anakin had an inscrutable look on his face. Obi-Wan realised with a jolt that was probably the most he had ever spoken about his past with either of them.

Anakin looked at his Master, cradling his mug, scrunched up on the sofa. He blinked. This was not the Obi-Wan he knew. He knew his force-of-nature Master and friend was in there, but it was hard to reconcile that with the wide unsure eyes and hesitant body language of the heartbreakingly young person in front of him. It’s like they were two different people.

“I…didn’t know that.”

Obi-Wan looked at him.

“Yes” the corner of his lips quirked up “Some of the best days of my life were during my apprenticeship” he said with a faraway look that was way too mature for his youthful face. “However so were the worst.” His expression turned rather sad and he looked down at his knees again, putting the mug down. “It’s not something I like to talk about.”

Anakin stared. Where was all this coming from? Obi-Wan Kenobi did not share like this, but the Force surrounding the other man was kind and warm and it was unmistakably his Master’s calm, reassuring Force signature.

They sat in awkward silence for a few moments, both men in uncharted territory, when Ahsoka did the most marvelous and unexpected thing.

Leaning over, she wrapped one arm around her Grand-Master’s shoulders and pulled him in for a hug.

Anakin nearly laughed out loud at his reserved friend’s expression of utter bamboozlement and squeak of surprise. As with all things, when Ahsoka hugged she gave it her all. Which in this case meant she ended up kind of yanking Obi-Wan down to her as she smothered.

“Thanks Master Obi-Wan” she said quietly.

“Pada…can’t…breathe!” the squashed figure gasped. She looked at him surprised before letting go.

“Oh sorry” she said, not a hint of apology in her voice. Anakin watched in more amusement as his friend hurried to straighten neatly parted hair that wasn’t there anymore. Ahsoka looked over at him.

“Master I think I’d like to join Team Kenobi” she said. Anakin grinned.

“We’re always looking for more members, by all means Snips.”

Obi-Wan had recovered and gave them both a very long-suffering look. Anakin noted again the weariness in his face and the slumped body language of when they had first arrived and took pity on his friend.

“Well Snips, how about we leave Padawan Kenobi here to rest for a while? We could catch first sitting at lunch?”

“Ha ha”

Ahsoka nodded happily and got up.

“We’ll bring you some back Master, I’ll give your regards to the culinary branch of the team.”

Obi-Wan looked at him blankly.

“The chefs. They have the meal plan” he elaborated. He caught his former Master rolling his eyes as they both turned to go.

“That karking meal plan.”

Anakin heard dark muttering as they left and smiled to himself.

Ahsoka chatted away as they meandered the halls, but he found it hard to focus as he reflected on what he’d heard. Obi-Wan had struggled as a Padawan. He wasn’t, in fact, born a perfect well put together Jedi, talented, skilled, top of his class in everything. He was a kid who floundered and made mistakes and (from the sounds of it) had a bit of a complex.

_“Made rather a mess of things” “turbulent start”. _He wondered what it all meant and resolved to hit the archives as soon as possible. He wouldn’t get Obi-Wan’s file but he could get mission reports and piece it together. Well, if he was honest with himself, he could get Obi-Wan’s file.

He wished he’d shared some of his own problems and struggles during his apprenticeship. Though maybe it wasn’t too late?


	5. Chapter 5

Obi-Wan’s day after the rest of his lineage had departed passed very gently. He was nudged awake a few hours later by Anakin bearing a plate of food straight out of the refectory and (to Obi-Wan's irritation) he stuck around as his Master ate it. The two men (or, the fully-grown man and the youth) exchanged light conversation and some of their usual banter before Anakin mumbled something about the archives and wandered off.

Turning automatically to his permeant pile of data pads on the table, he was surprised to realise he had about half as much paperwork to do as he usually did. Most of his reports, requests, and random assorted annoyances he needed to sign, had been done or redistributed. He frowned in annoyance.

With no desire to parade his new look in the halls some more Obi-Wan meditated (yet again he fell into the Force’s cosy embrace and achieved nothing, but had a very nice time) answered long overdue com messages, worked on his Soresu Katas (only slightly bitter that he had to start from the beginning) and watched a mindless holo drama. As he got in to bed, Obi-Wan realised very disconcertedly that it had been a perfectly pleasant day.

\---

He was beginning to get used to waking up in his new altered state. And now he was a little more comfortable in his new skin he could admit that the ease with which he moved, the lack of old injuries complaining and scars pulling, was wonderful.

After an unusually large breakfast and some katas he was feeling almost downright perky as he stepped off the lift into the council antechamber.

Hands in his sleeves he tread the familiar path to the main chamber, slow and deliberate steps helping him find his centre. 

“Oh excuse me Padawan, the Council is about to be in session and is not to be disturbed.”

Obi-Wan froze. This was becoming a little bit annoying. He turned on his heal and gave a respectful smile to the young Knight on duty. A very good looking human he knew vaguely.

“Apologies Knight Affron I should’ve introduced myself, I look a little different but I’m-“

“Master Kenobi” the Knight finished with awe.

Obi-Wan felt himself flush a little, this was terribly awkward.

“Yes indeed.” He cleared his throat whilst the other beings stare became a little intense. “Would you let them know I have arrived please? I have an appointment” he explained.

Knight Affron smiled.

“Master I’m sure you can just go in…what with you being _on_ the council and everything.” They said cheekily. Obi-Wan snorted.

“Right, good point. Well I’ll just…” he pointed at the door and wandered over.

“Of course Master.”

Approaching the doors he opened himself to the Force, relaxing his shields a little (just a little, enough to still keep the now overwhelming Force at bay) as he usually would before a council session in order to better listen to the Force and his colleagues.

He drew up short though. There was something very unusual going on.

From behind the doors he could feel an odd mixture of anticipation and excitement, feelings he would usually associate with - _Oh no._

He cringed and stopped, hand halfway to the door handle, filled with the sudden urge to run away.

_“Come in Kenobi”_

_“Are you coming in or what?”_

_“Scared my friend?” _

The teasing voices of his friends and colleagues filled his head, projected through the doors, and he found himself smiling.

_“This is ridiculous”_ he thought back, but all the same he pulled open the heavy doors and stepped into the dark room beyond.

The light from the doors cast a long shadow down the centre of the room before they closed, and for a moment he stood in the pitch blackness, bracing himself.

The oppressive darkness, and the heavy expectant silence, was broken suddenly as eleven lightsabres ignited as one, casting their multi-coloured lights in a circle around him. He arched one eyebrow and looked at his colleagues, shoring his shields again as the Force battered him with waves of fondness and delight. He opened his mouth to speak when Master Yoda beat him to it.

“Step forward Padawan”

He nearly rolled his eyes, _Really? _He could feel the tips of his ears turning pink though, as almost on autopilot he knelt before Yoda. Despite it not being ‘real’ the momentousness of the moment was getting to him and he found himself suddenly very nervous.

_This is so surreal_. Over the last few years on the council Obi-Wan had knighted several Padawans, it was easily his favourite part of the job. Watching a young person stand up in front of Yoda and Mace with a shy smile and a bow, a Master looking on with pride…

He took a moment to acknowledge what a sap he was.

“Obi-Wan Kenobi.” He looked up to meet the Grand-Master’s eyes, spying the twinkle in them as he did so. “By the right of the council” the old Master continued “by the will of the Force, dub thee I do; Jedi Knight of the Republic.”

With a sweep of his green sabre the powerful Master sheered the heavy Padawan braid right off Obi-Wan’s head with impressive precision and caught it in his hand. He stared at the braid in fascination for a moment and felt a sudden and unaccountable pang of loss. He remembered pressing his original braid into the cold hands of his Master, before the flames took it.

A clawed hand came to rest on his head.

“Always wanted this, I have” Master Yoda said quietly, with a conspiratorial smile.

Obi-Wan couldn’t resist the grin that spread over his face and the Force bubbled up again with happiness and…pride? It spilled over Obi-Wan’s own feelings and engulfed him in joy. He closed his eyes, almost overwhelmed, until he heard noises confusion and grunts from those surrounding him.

His eyes flew open.

_Oh no_

The ancient Master’s face had changed, and a look of confusion crossed his face.

“The Force…” he said slowly, closing his eyes.

“What…aah what the sithhells is happening?” Mace Windu gasped, hand pressed to his head. Shaak Ti had her eyes closed and was breathing deeply, Kit and Plo were both looked around in wonder, and Master Mundi’s pupils were the size of saucers.

Obi-Wan took his great-grandmasters hand worriedly.

“Ugh, Kenobi is this…what’s going on?” Shaak groaned

I’m sorry! I’m not sure!” he said desperately, standing up. “The Force has been…intense since I changed”

“It wasn’t like this yesterday” Depa giggled dreamily, the heady influence taking hold.

“I was for me! I was going to get you to meditate on it with me” Obi-Wan was desperately trying to shove the force away from them all but it was getting more and more excited. Playful even.

“Does anyone have a tissue?” Mace’s nose was bleeding, Obi-Wan hurried over with a clean handkerchief

“Mace are you alright?”

“m’fine.”

“I feel great!” Kit said happily. Obi-Wan looked at him closer and noticed his head tales twitching a little, a sure sign of elation.

“Of course you do” Eeth Koth snorted, smiling at his friend with an openly fond look.

“Mmmm.” Plo said slowly. “As do I”

_Oh no no no! _

_“_Masters, I think we need to work together to reinforce shields” Obi-Wan instructed firmly, above the noise of wonder and intrigue.

The others nodded, finally grinding into action, and he could feel the overwhelming presence already starting to retreat. They got up and swayed, staggered and lurched to stand in a small circle in the middle of the room. Standing between Mace and Yoda he grabbed a hand of each and they began their impromptu group meditation.

It took more effort than Obi-Wan had been prepared for to wrangle the Force firmly back on to the outside of their minds and could feel the others felt the same. It was particularly difficult when everybody felt the constant urge to giggle happily like a baby.

He opened his eyes at the same time as his colleagues, running a critical eye over his friends in the wake of the fog. Mace still looked a little worse for wear but otherwise everyone just seemed a little baffled.

“What the kriff?”

All heads turned to Kit Fisto as one.

“What?! It’s a valid question” he said defensively.

Shaak Ti looked at him flatly and motioned for everybody to take their seats.

For a split-second Obi-Wan dithered, before the tiniest of tiny expectant nods from Master Mundi had him taking his usual seat.

The chair had always felt too big for him, too much, but now it was something else. He had never felt so out of place.

“Reacted to you, the Force did” Master Yoda pointed out, no accusation in his tone.

“Yes Master, I believe so” They looked at him expectantly. “It’s been doing that since I woke up like this” he repeated. “It’s almost…” he searched for the word.

“Anthropomorphic” Deepa supplied. Ob-Wan nodded gratefully. It very much was as if the Force had a personality.

“Well it definitely doesn’t have malicious intentions” Master Mundi observed in his gentle tone. It felt rather like what happened before, when you changed” he finished, looking at Obi-Wan.

“About as much fun” Mace grumbled, still holding the handkerchief. He sighed.

“Embrace it again, we should” Mater Yoda suggested, holding up a hand to still the objections. “more controlled, it could be. Familiar, this Force presence was.”

“I agree. There is a presence there I feel I know but wasn’t able to identify” Mace appeared frustrated for a split second. Obi-Wan knew how he felt. “There is more to be explored. We need to experience it again when it’s not so…giddy” Mace surmised. He turned to the teenager amongst them and gave a wry smile. “I can see why you wanted a group session. Though next time don’t undersell it so much” he said drily.

“’Intense’ indeed” Depa scoffed. “Obi-Wan, it’s gone ballistic!”

“Ah…yes sorry about that.” Obi-Wan rubbed his neck awkwardly. “Though in my defence, it hasn’t been like that the whole time, usually it’s a little subtler.” He turned to Master Yoda on his left.

“Master, you said it feels familiar?” he questioned, deliberately keeping his tone light. He thought back to that first day after the healers, and the voice he had heard just before falling asleep that could only have been the product of an exhausted mind.

“Hmmm.” Yoda fixed him with a piercing gaze. “Yes, very familiar it was. Know this, you do.” He gestured at Obi-Wan. “Though improbable, my conclusion is. Investigate we should.”

_‘Improbable?’ _He thought_. ‘Now who’s underselling?’_

“I agree.” Shaak joined in. “I felt nothing particularly recognisable myself, but there is certainly more to be found here.”

“A very interesting phenomenon” Plo agreed.

Kit leaned forward.

“Whatever it is, it was centred around you Obi-Wan, I think we can assume it is responsible for your change?”

The young man in question nodded thoughtfully.

“It would correlate. The Force changed at the same time my appearance did.”

“Maybe it holds the key to changing you back?” Master Mundi offered hopefully.

Obi-Wan sent him a small smile.

“Obi-Wan, kneel in the centre” Mace instructed standing up again.

They assumed the traditional group meditative position with each council member gathered around Obi-Wan making physical contact in one way or another. There were hands on each shoulder, on his head, holding his arm, his wrist. Though not usually a physical person, Obi-Wan found the pressure grounding and safe.

Cautiously, he let his shields down ever so slightly and felt the others do the same.

The Force whooshed back to him, whirling around the whole group with warmth and happiness. Despite himself, Obi-Wan felt himself lean into it a little, allowing it to wash over him and he felt, rather than heard, satisfied hums from a few of the bodies around him.

On a whim Obi-Wan sent a request in the Force.

_Please calm down _he begged silently, sinking further and lowering his shields a little more. He got a strange sort of amusement in return but nevertheless, the feelings remained at a steady, manageable level.

He breathed deeply, but to his frustration felt the now familiar warmth begin to draw him in.

The others though, acted as an anchor and he was thankfully able to stop himself getting lost. He was supported on all sides by steady strength and precise focus.

_‘Who are you?’_

He heard Mace’s voice in his head, as clear as if they were spoken aloud.

They were answered by a wave of amusement, and…possibly mischief?

_‘Answers, you will give us’ _

Obi-Wan could almost imagine the old Master rapping his stick on the floor in frustration and had to be mindful of not sharing the image.

As they sank deeper the impressions and feelings they were met with gained clarity and weight, but no answer was forthcoming. 

Comfort, happiness, amusement, and that ever-underlying feeling of pride surrounded them.

Keeping each other supported was taking a monumental effort. It was so tempting to just relax into the emotions surrounding them. Obi-Wan wondered, momentarily loosing concentration and floating along the warm currents, if the others were feeling the same. They didn’t do this sort of thing very often and weren’t as in tune with each other as they could be. They should really practice a little more in future.

_In the moment Padawan _came a gentle instruction, whispered directly into his mind. 

A heartbreakingly familiar voice. 

Obi-Wan forgot to breathe for a moment. 

Sharp intakes of breath from those around him and an echo of their shock in the Force meant he wasn’t imagining things.

He snapped back to awareness with painful speed and sharpness, the others wincing as they were yanked out of their meditations.

“Sorry” he gasped, heart thumping in his ears he fell and found himself sitting on the floor.

The others looked at him, frozen expressions of astonishment and, in one or two cases, fear.

“Obi-Wan…” Depa didn’t know what to say but she took his arm and sent a wave of concern at him in the Force.

“That’s not…this isn’t…” He couldn’t think, couldn’t speak.

“Could it have been a trick?” Master Mundi asked gently.

Obi-Wan shook his head mutely. There was no way he could continue to deny the presence he knew inside and out.

“It’s him” Mace confirmed quietly, a guarded look in his eyes.

The spell was broken and the rest of the council erupted in to noise.

“How is this possible?”

“It has to be Sith workings!”

“Don’t be a fool its thoroughly light”

“We don’t know what it is!”

“But who it was, we know.”

Obi-Wan simply let it all happen around him, still reeling, his heart going a million parsecs an hour, a buzzing in his ears.

_Qui-Gon it’s Qui-Gon it’s Master Master’s dead but it’s Master it’s Qui-Gon how can it be Qui-Gon? Master’s dead. _

His shaky gaze found the silent face of Mace Windu, silent in the rabble. The Korrun Master made an almost imperceptible nod towards the chamber doors and Obi-Wan didn’t need telling twice.

“I’m going to-“ his legs felt like jelly but he dragged himself up, “I’m going to meditate” he muttered, and without looking back he practically ran for the doors.

It was too much. It was all too much.

“Obi-Wan what-“ he heard the distant cry after him.

“Let him be”

He sent a pulse of gratitude to his Master’s old friend and launched himself in to the lift.

\---

Mace Windu watched after his oldest friend’s Padawan as the young man fled the scene. He looked around at the rest of the council members, still arguing, bar Yoda who had shuffled to his seat, looking unbearably sad.

Yoda had loved Qui-Gon as a Grandmaster, Mace had loved him as a brother-in-arms. 

Granted, a pain-in-the-ass sort of younger brother. But a brother all the same.

He closed his eyes and quickly reached another meditative state, still standing to the side of the council chamber. He nearly gasped when the familiar presence met him, revealed properly after going so deep into the Force.

The ‘how’s’ and ‘why’s’ didn’t seem to matter anymore.

_‘Hello old friend’_ he thought. He received no response; not like he had heard for Obi-Wan before. That distinct, wonderful voice. But an almost tangible sense of happiness was directed at him.

_‘You have been missed.’ _Still no words, but a distinct wave of melancholy instead.

‘_He’s done well’_ Mace continued his one-sided mental conversation, breathing deeply through his nose. There was that proud feeling again. 

Qui-Gon was a smug bastard.

‘_Be careful with him Jinn’ _he thought, accompanied by a tiny echo of warning at his old creche mate. The emptions and impressions he got in response to this were getting weaker, as if the presence was getting pulled away and becoming more distant. But Mace was able to make out a split second of indignation, though followed very closely by a swell of apology and soothing reassurance.

_‘Thank you’_ he whispered with his mind. All he got was a faint impression of acceptance and fondness, before it was gone completely, and he was alone.

\---

Lurching out of the lift Obi-Wan didn’t make it to his rooms.

Diving into an empty administrative office he continued repeating his mantra; _How can it be Master? Master’s dead. _

Groaning, he lowered himself to the floor. Drawing his knees to his chest he focussed on his breathing again.

In through the nose, out through the mouth. In, out. In, out.

In - _Master’s dead -_ out. In - _he’s now a presence in the Force -_ Out. In - _I’m not going insane -_ Out. In – _he turned me in to a 20 year old - _out. In_ \- what the bloody hells is he playing at? -_ Out.

The feeling of irritation grew as he composed himself.

What was this? Some kind of game? He surprised himself with the strength of his ire. But what right did this…manifestation of his beloved Master have to play with him this way? He had been perfectly fine before this mess. He had survived his Master’s death, knighted a Padawan, lead an army, he sat on the council and by Force he was going to get them all through this war.

_Except you weren’t fine, _a small voice offered quietly in the back of his mind. And he hadn’t been fine in a long time.

He’d never gotten over Qui-Gon’s death. It was one of many nightmares but occasionally the ray shields descended, and everything was a red hue. He hadn’t spoken of it to another living soul before this week.

He had indeed knighted a Padawan, but he had been lying to himself for a long time. His relationship with Anakin was not perfect. They had been keeping secrets from each other, and Obi-Wan had never before been able to get down from the pedestal Anakin had placed him on.

He led an army, but he knew in his bones it was hurting him, chipping away at him piece by piece until he didn’t eat or sleep.

He’d felt like an imposter on the council, amongst the revered Masters he’d studied under, constantly trying to earn their respect. But he thought back to Depa and Plo dragging him to the healers, Vokara Che’s comic surprise, Mace and Plo’s quiet support, Master Mundi’s nod of encouragement and Kit’s potty mouth. He felt quite silly. He had their respect, and more importantly, their friendship.

He straightened up, adopting his preferred half lotus position, and sank into the Force once more, feeling more balanced than he had since this whole ‘experience’ began.

It was weaker than before. The unapologetic love and warmth was there, but rather than pulling him in he had to reach out and meet it half way.

“_Master_” His mental voice echoed around him in the Force.

Tears filled his eyes as he was surrounded by his Master’s presence. It was so obvious now he’d embraced it, after they’d gone deep enough to reveal it, and Obi-Wan felt almost inconsolable regret that he had spent the last few days fighting it.

The Force instantly soothed him, wrapping him in love and happiness chasing everything else away. He was so relaxed, heavy and tired and completely unable to care about anything. He was rested, fed, cared for and hopeful.

“_Well done Padawan”_

He heard his Master’s voice one last time, before drifting gently away from consciousness.

\---

The Force presence that was Jedi Master Qui-Gon Jinn smiled an exhausted smile from its current plane of existence. It had cost him greatly, putting his corporeal projection back by a solid few years, but it had been worth it to reach out and help his precious boy.

He had been right, he thought smugly, looking at his unconscious Padawan. Obi-Wan had become a much wiser man than Qui-Gon could ever have hoped to be, and he was a great Jedi Knight.

Even if he did need a little help occasionally.

\---

Twenty standard minutes later, a very anxious Knight Affron found Jedi Master Obi-Wan Kenobi, looking every one of his thirty-seven years of age, lying on the floor sound asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aaaand the end. 
> 
> Thank you very much for sticking with me, I really hope you enjoyed it. I've found it INCREDIBLY difficult to get through something this long, I definitely would've abandoned it around Chapter 3 if not for all your wonderful comments and encouragements, thank you!


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